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64reprieve · 26 days ago

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picture you (e.w.) ˙✧˖°📷 ༘ ⋆｡˚

pairing: butch!college!loser!ellie x femme!camgirl!reader

synopsis: you need promo for your business. ellie’s tuition is due. or ellie’s a college student in her junior year scrambling to get her shit together and desperate to make ends meet with side jobs. you need pictures taken by someone who isn’t a creep from craigslist and won’t kill you. your friend knows just the person.

content: angst, amateurphotographer!ellie, loser!ellie, college!ellie, butch!ellie, brief mean!ellie at first but she softens up, camgirl!reader, femme!reader, ellie is broke and judgmental, awkward photoshoot, mentions of depression, mentions of agoraphobia, miscommunication, explicit language

word count: 4.7k

nsfw, men and minors dni

prologue ➤ chapter one ➤ chapter two ➤ chapter three ➤ chapter four ➤ tbd.

A beaten mumble drawls from you.

“I’m going to lose my job.”

The basement air is crisp from the harried sliding door of people reentering, the cold wafting in and raising your exposed skin to pebbles. Parties fall short in appeal, but you’re undeniably lonely; a skewed dichotomy granted how you spend nearly every night with an audience.

It’s hard enough to collect the mail from your doorstep, but you’d much rather hang out with Riley than die alone from holing up in your shitty, off-campus apartment.

Your isolation was a deluded salvation of choice from the start; there’s no childhood bedroom to sleep in during the holidays, no weekly phone calls home you pretend to make begrudgingly.

Winter break empties and hollows out your insipid college town into a blanket of white, undisturbed.

Self-help books have stacked themselves in your closet since Freshman year, but there was little to romanticize or heal over sitting on park benches under a single streetlight until your hands curled into the wood and buried blue beneath the snow.

Those weeks are cold, but your empty bed is freezing.

It’s unequivocally a first-world problem but you’d soon rather shake a cup on the sidewalk to make rent than return to late rides from campus to work, and then home.

Memories rouse the thick, stale scent and warm air of the bus, and your inner cheeks chewed raw from standing outside at night, bones buzzing with exhaustion.

You couldn’t go back, you couldn’t, you couldn’t, you wouldn’t, you–

Riley swirled a mint in her mouth, clicking against her teeth, "Okay. It can’t be that bad. What’s wrong with the photos you took last time?”

The ratty couch chafed the back of your bare thighs pink. Smeared eyeliner clung to your heavy lashes as you traced the rim of your sharp-scented cup, swimming with a repulsive concoction of sparkling fruit juice and gin that weighed down your insides.

“For one, those are from four months ago,” You paused to sigh, shutting your eyes in half disbelief and acceptance, “And two, they were Christmas-themed."

Your fingers pinched your ears to mimic a point, “I’m wearing elf ears in them. I can’t repost that in March, it’ll look like I’m pedaling for Santa fetishists.”

Across the cushions, Riley’s attentive gaze was a warmth that bordered sobering. It's not often you get to complain.

An amused laugh bubbled from her, “Have you tried posting about it online? Maybe like Twitter or something. Or I could do it. I know that our phones are busted, but we could probably photoshop the glare out. ”

“No,” Your head stabbed at the thought, “And I want to stay anonymous. I can’t imagine anyone who responds to that and pays attention to my content would be normal.” You sigh, “Shit, I wish Abby didn’t transfer.”

“She took your elf pictures?” Riley snickered, sitting up to hear you over the music and drunken babbles.

“It was one time. Her dad bought her a really good camera.” You argued, shooting her a look of disapproval.

Riley kissed her teeth, stretching her arms out with a faint grunt.

A short, pensive silence fell between the two of you.

Riley’s knee knocked into yours suddenly, pulling your attention, “I think I know someone.”

Who does Riley know that you don’t? Then again, you haven’t properly socialized outside your tiny circle in a couple of years.

You winced at the vision of a guy with a five o’clock shadow, greasy hair, and a camera bag hanging around their neck. Or worse, a cologne-drowned, perm-haired, red-pilled, indie boy with an abnormal vintage camera obsession.

“He’s not super weird, right?” You probed, wearing a look of uncertainty.

You worried as though it paid.

Riley leaned back on the armrest, “No, she’s friends with Dina. We’ve hung out before. You guys would get along. Want me to talk to her?”

A weight retreated from your slumped shoulders, “She has a camera and stuff? I don’t need much. Just some shots at my place and it won’t be anything crazy. Do you think she’d be like–okay with it?”

Riley nodded to your ramble, spitting her candy into your neglected cup before setting it on the floor. You’d worry about it later.

“She won’t mind, trust me." Riley insisted, waving you off, "So, is that a yes?” She mused.

“Tell her I’ll pay well.” You exhaled in relief, taking her hand.

Riley affirmed lazily, squeezing back, “She’ll do it.”

────୨ৎ────

Morning dew unfurled the lushness of vernality as worms curled beneath saturated dirt; Earth rose in the stillness.

Ellie squinted in the luster of warmth; the breeze cooling sweat before her clothes could stick. She walked beside her friend, taking space on the path with disregard and forcing passersby to walk on the damp grass.

“Who?” Ellie asked, taking out her earbuds and slipping the cord through her belt loop.

Dina looked up at Ellie as they walked to the library together, “One of Riley’s friends.” She exhaled through her nose, “I sent you her Instagram already. You would know if you ever checked your messages.”

Ellie mumbled, slipping her phone out of the pocket of her cargo pants. Her fingers tapped on the screen, eyebrows furrowed, “Okay? What the fuck am I supposed to do with this? She has two posts and one of them’s from five years ago.”

“I didn’t send it so you could gawk at her pictures–text her!” Dina groaned, adjusting her backpack as they tread uphill on the sidewalk.

“Relax.” Ellie refreshed your profile before tucking her phone away, “Riley said she asked for pictures? For an event or something?” She guessed, nearing the building.

Dina shrugged, stopping by the door before Ellie opened it, “Thanks,” Dina whispered, looking around the quiet library. “She said it’s just for social media but it’ll be at her friend’s place.”

Ellie bit her tongue, holding off her complaints. It would be pointless, she already knew she wasn’t in any position to say no.

Ellie worked over expenses for the month; a ninety-dollar textbook, course enrollment fees for the following semester, credit card bill, the brake pads of her truck still needed to be replaced, and her meal plan card only had around sixty dollars left–which bit when she was exhausting at least two to three energy drinks every day.

It wasn’t the type of money she could ask from Joel. She refused to. She couldn’t if she tried by this point. The thought alone of calling Joel sent a shiver through her body and made her palms sweat.

Ellie hadn’t grown up with much, though it wasn’t out of Joel’s cheapness and she knew that, always had.

It led to the fight on Ellie’s fifteenth birthday after he’d gifted her a Martin despite barely making the light bill that month.

Ellie had screamed until she turned red, trying to drag Joel and the guitar down the driveway and into the truck so they could return it to the shop. He refused until Ellie’s voice gave out, but learned to stick to grocery store birthday cakes from then on.

She made sure never to see another dollar from his wallet.

Ellie sighed under her breath, “Don’t tell me it’s another mixer. I swear to God.”

The two walked past the front desk, finding their usual study corner tucked away by rows of shelves. The scent of fresh carpet and paper imbued the building.

Ellie sat down, tossing her backpack between her legs and turning on her laptop while Dina set up her iPad from across the table, arranging her notebooks in a neat stack and rifling through her pen case to lay out highlighters and little sticky notes.

“Dina,” Ellie smirked, watching with amusement, “Are you prepping for surgery?” She teased, raising her eyebrows.

Dina clenched her teeth, sending her a glare, “Shut up.” She whispered harshly.

Ellie scratched the back of her neck as she aimlessly clicked around on her laptop for a few minutes before taking her phone back out. She should be using this time to study, especially with how awful her procrastination had grown since starting college.

Still, Ellie had adopted ‘I’ll start tomorrow' as a commandment.

She found your profile again looking through your tagged photos. Nothing. Ellie sighed before searching Riley’s Instagram: a plethora of posts; car selfies, blurry concert videos, photos taken on late nights out with criminally overused flash, though Ellie was culpably in some of them, until finally she came across a post of you.

Simple, sweet.

A photo in a bustling restaurant of you blowing out birthday cake candles, captioned ‘19 years today for this beauty queen’ with your account in the comments, asking her to take it down.

Your hair was down, curls cascading a little past your shoulders, with one side pinned behind your ear to show just enough of your face. Your red, manicured nails reflected the candlelight as you locked your hands, looking through your long eyelashes.

As if your smile wasn’t striking enough, you had dimples. Fucking dimples.

It seemed you two ran in the same social groups, so how had she never met or heard of you? From the looks of it and your absence of an online presence, you couldn’t be a sorority girl or anything.

She would’ve ghosted you if so.

Ellie chewed her top lip, glancing up at Dina to find the girl grossly entranced with doodling a diagram on her Ipad. Ellie cleared her throat, leaning forward, “You’ve met her?”

Dina nodded without looking up, “Who? Oh–maybe a couple of times. She’s nice.”

“Is it a baby shower or something?” Ellie asked, eyebrows knitting together.

“Ellie, I don’t know. Like I said, I’ve only met her twice and Riley didn’t give much detail. She just said it’d be small.” Dina mumbled, tilting her head with a bored expression.

Ellie sat back with a short nod, clicking back to your page before finally typing a message.

hey, this is ellie. i heard you need some pictures taken.

Too short, dry, and awkward. She clenched her teeth, backspacing through the entire thing before retyping.

hi, this is ellie. i heard from riley. when do u need the pictures by?

Better, she figured.

She waited and waited, staring at her phone until Dina kicked her beneath the table. She ignored her, sitting up when a text from you loaded in.

hi! thanks for getting back to me, i really appreciate it. i just need a few pictures. if you’re still comfortable, i’d like to do it this week but next week is fine if that works better for you!

How polite.

i can make time this week. what’s ur address?

You were waiting by the phone too; her guess. You texted back in seconds.

thank you so much! i’ll send you a link to the building. i’m in apartment #28. do you prefer cash or card? and what’s your availability?

Ellie clicked the link. You lived about five minutes from campus, which was barely a drive. She could skate over instead of wasting gas if she wanted but there was also the chance of tripping on cracked cement and breaking her camera, or worse– someone witnessing her fall off her board, but it was an undeniably better gig than the day before, when Jesse paid her thirty bucks to bake a box cake and she nearly burnt down the dorm’s communal kitchen.

i’m okay with either. we can talk payment after i get there.

She rubbed her nose, biting her cheek as her thumb hovered over the keyboard before she gave in.

i’m free right now if u are. or we can work out a different time. just send me ur schedule.

Your typing bubbled in and out, before you finally replied.

I’m free! just shoot me a text or knock when you get here or if u get lost. im on the second floor.

Ellie hurriedly packed her bag, laptop thudding against the table in the quiet building. Dina glanced over, squinting at her.

“What are you doing?” Dina mouthed, setting her pen down.

Ellie shrugged, pushing her chair back in, “Something came up but I’ll be home tonight. Are you good to walk back or should I text Jesse?”

“Don’t text him. I want to enjoy my peace and quiet without you two.” Dina waved her off with a lighthearted sigh, “I’ll be fine. I’m almost finished.”

Ellie exhaled, ruffling the top of Dina’s head, “Alright. Call me if anything changes. Have fun with your nursing stuff.” She snickered.

Dina shoved her away playfully, groaning, “Just go.”

────୨ৎ────

Ellie stood outside your apartment door. She wiped the sweat beading on the back of her neck, staring down the burgundy paint before knocking.

What kind of prissy bitch had the money to afford to pay someone for Instagram pictures while simultaneously going to school and living off-campus?

It left a bitter taste in her mouth– you left a bitter taste in her mouth.

The door opened, and Ellie’s shoulders loosened at the sight; your hair was straightened unlike the photo Riley had uploaded, you wore pink gloss to match your nails, and your eyes were larger in person.

Pretty. You were so fucking pretty.

You stepped aside to let her in, fidgeting with the belt of your robe and wearing a cautious smile as the two of you exchanged hellos.

Ellie set her skateboard against the wall, and you took the time to look at her then.

Her auburn hair stopped at her neck, half tied up with an undercut and her chipped nails were painted black. She wore an aged, light blue flannel over a white wife-beater, and black cargo pants that sat on her hips with just a sliver from the band of her grey boxers and a happy trail peeking through. A heavy carabiner loaded with keys, keychains, a couple of worn hair ties, a pocket knife, and some lettered beads you couldn’t quite make out, pulled down from the left of her belt loops that jingled as she straightened up.

Her green eyes gloomed in the dimness, freckles scattered across her skin like she was kissed by the stars. A faint scar rose from the corner of her chapped, pouty lips.

She was devastatingly attractive in a ‘lover i dreamt of once and couldn’t replicate’ kind of way.

It made you feel all the more graceless about the situation.

You took a step back as she turned around, offering a smile, which she returned with one that didn’t meet her eyes.

Ellie glanced around the living room of your apartment, thumbing at the strap of her backpack.

Your place was quaint with inconsistent decorations; a fake plant here and there in corners of the room, a scratched coffee table with a stack of mail, a grey couch with a few throw blankets folded on the armrest, and a TV across the room. The curtains were drawn shut, only a lamp and the kitchen light to brighten and the walls were bare; just a dead clock above the balcony doors. Your kitchen was clean, from what she could see, aside from a pot sitting on the stove.

You pulled the curtains back, apologizing sheepishly, “Sorry. I forget how dark it is in here sometimes.”

“I have blackout curtains so I get it,” Ellie shared, setting her backpack down on the couch and taking out her tripod and camera, “How do you wanna do this? The balcony or we could go outside? It’s still light out.”

A nervous laugh bubbled from your throat.

What kind of content did she assume you made?

You flushed, shaking your head, “Oh– god, no. I’m not like that. I thought my room would be good. I also have lights if you want to use them.”

Ellie raised an eyebrow, scanning you, “Are you shy?”

What was your deal?

Maybe Ellie was in a bad mood today, as she often was, but she couldn’t figure you out. You seemed nice, spoke softly, and smelled so sweet; you’d clouded her with a bubble of rose as soon as the door swung open.

She couldn’t be upset with you despite her premature animosity. And the fact you were paying.

Regardless, she just wanted to get this over with so she could go back, edit your pictures in her bed while she shared a joint with Dina, get paid, and then ignore you as if you didn’t exist because until now, you didn’t.

“Not really, no.” You mumbled, “Would you like a water?”

She scanned your being then looked off to the side, “No, thanks.”

“Right, sure. I’ll show you the way.” You hushed, walking away.

Ellie glanced down at the back of your ankles to see a pair of embroidered winking cartoon cats. Cute.

She snorted, following you.

The bedroom was noticeably more lived in; posters and tapestries lined up the white walls except for the one your bed was against, fairy lights adorned the trim of the ceilings, and your dresser with heart-shaped knobs had trinkets and makeup littered atop. A desk sat pushed in the corner with a glass-stained lamp glowing and a heavily stickered laptop with a webcam. A few ring lights were resting against a wall. Your closet was partially shut, a sweater sleeve hanging out the gap and a pink duvet swallowed your bed. A fluffy, white rug lay in the center of your bedroom, and Ellie considered how you’d managed to keep it spotless.

It all looked new. Did your parents help you? She assumed they’d picked out this apartment, and then furnished it too.

You were annoying, but she couldn’t deny how well your place suited you.

“I never asked how many you need. Will this take long?” She blurted out.

You wavered at her tone. It wasn’t like she owed you anything, and she had come out all this way just for you.

“No, not at all. Honestly, if we can get just one decent shot, I’ll be grateful.” You confessed, biting your tongue.

She set her tripod down, turning her back from you to mess with the ring lights and their placement. She wasn’t very experienced using them, but lighting wasn’t an unfamiliar concept–she hoped.

“Thanks again for helping me. I know it’s probably weird, but it would’ve been hard to find another girl, I think. I tried to do it myself but they looked– horrible.” You explained, sitting down on the edge of your bed.

Weird?

Ellie’s eyebrows knit together, glancing over her shoulder at your words.

Her eyes faltered over your presence as you shrugged off your robe. You weren’t wearing an overpriced dress underneath that you were hoping to avoid staining.

No– in fact, you weren’t wearing much at all.

You peeked at her through your lashes with uncertainty; hands smoothing the thin straps of your sheer babydoll dress and a lighter lingerie set peeked under the mesh. A pair of ruffled, bow adorned garters hugged your thighs, bare skin glowing through.

She snapped her head back, fighting the pink rushing to her ears. Pink like you, she senselessly thought.

She should’ve just asked Riley or you what this was about, instead of aimlessly berating Dina for answers earlier, but it hadn’t crossed her mind. She grimaced at her previous behavior. It wasn’t your fault that her friends played Telephone with your request.

Did she make you out to be an inconvenience when you were half-naked in front of a stranger the entire time?

Ellie cleared her throat as she swallowed a shaky breath, “Yeah, no problem.” She exhaled, licking her lips nervously. She turned with a tight-lipped smile, praying the hue of your room would drown out her skin.

Please, please, please.

But you didn’t say anything. You avoided eye contact, shifting on your duvet and fixing your hair, “Is there a way I should pose or–”

She shook her head sharply, skimming over your figure again. Her hands shook around the camera, looking through and adjusting the settings, “No. Just do whatever you like. Whatever feels natural.”

Sure, you could do that. You laughed your head off with Abby that time she helped you, and it was nothing. But Ellie wasn’t your friend or anything like her.

This didn’t feel familiar.

Ellie glanced between you and the light as she flicked through the buttons, “Tell me if it’s too much on your eyes or if you don’t like something.” She murmured.

You hummed, rubbing your arm in a soothing manner as you watched her, fixing your posture when she clicked the camera into place.

Ellie observed the photo for a second, peering up at you, “Ready?”

It was silent at first, aside from the occasional shutter of the camera. Your movements resolved into something less hollow, and Ellie softened the tension with small talk. You kept your breath even and your gaze fixed on the veins sprawling the back of her hands.

“How long have you been friends with Riley?” She rasped behind the camera as you sat on your knees, looking over your shoulder.

“About a couple of years. We were paired on the same tour our senior year– found out we both enrolled there halfway through the first semester.” You divulged, laying on your stomach and kicking your feet up, “How about you?”

“We grew up in the same neighborhood.” She emitted.

You nodded slowly, then rolled over, laying on your back and propping your knee before resting your arm beside your head. She wasn’t much of a talker, but you appreciated her fill of the silence.

Ellie walked closer, thighs brushing the edge of the bed from where she stood over you.

To her, you looked beautiful.

Ellie loved women like you. She worshiped their otherness; reveling in the act of placing her hand on a girl’s back through a large crowd, watching them get dolled up, and being the pair of arms they ran to. All of her ex-girlfriends had been complete opposites.

The sweeter they were, the deeper her admiration, and in turn�� the worse the breakup.

In terms of physicality, you surpassed her type; a great inconvenience, considering how jaded she felt toward you.

You pursed your lips from the dip in your stomach, meeting her gaze briefly before staring into the lens.

She regarded your doubt, whispering, “You can look at me, it’s okay.”

Up close, Ellie smelled of faint smoke and light cologne; a fleeting thought passed of how close you’d have to be, to smell her skin. Her voice lured like a moth to light; firm yet reserved. It was low with a hint of scratchiness and your mind racked for the last time anyone spoke to you with such patience.

You returned to her as she held the camera.

Another shutter.

Ellie eyed a strand of hair between your eyes, reaching out with a soft murmur, “Do you mind if I–”

You shook your head; pulse pounding within your neck, “No.”

Ellie’s fingers brushed the tip of your nose, tucking the strand behind your ear. You felt the roughness when you blinked, pushing down a sigh.

When was the last time you’d allowed warmth to greet yours?

“Do you go full-time?” She inquired.

Your ankle twitched as her voice brought you back, just barely, and you were grateful it was out of view, “Not this semester. I’m trying to focus on other things.”

Ellie’s hand gripped your ankle absentmindedly, shifting it so your foot didn’t hang off the bed before fixing your sock. She noticed.

“Smart.” She quipped, “I should to do that, but I don’t have the patience.” Or money, she thought, the corner of her mouth twitching.

You smiled up at her, “It’s definitely frustrating, but at least I have work to pass the time.”

Ellie hummed in agreement. You worked. That was a far better reality than what she’d conjured in her head earlier for the sake of justifying her presumptions.

A qualm of guilt heavied her throat; one she swallowed down.

Ellie’s palm wavered by your legs, and you instinctively leaned in. She clasped your knees, carefully pinning them to the side, thumb brushing the back of your knee before leaving you cold, lowering to smooth the duvet beneath you. Her tongue poked between her lips.

You stared.

────୨ৎ────

The glowing stars stickered to your ceiling were beginning to peel from their points.

You twiddled your thumbs over your ribs and traced the edges with your eyes, laying flat on your bedroom floor with the occasional sigh. Your damp hair soaked into the rug beneath you; skin rising to pebbles from the box fan fixed at your lower half, and still tender from the boiling shower. Your breath synchronized with the spinning blades, hands unfolding to brush your thighs, mimicking her touch.

It was nowhere near the same.

You wanted her.

The day had unfolded in providence. You’d furiously erased every photo on your laptop that afternoon and swore that you’d delete your accounts by the next morning.

By divine timing, you received Ellie’s text an hour later.

An underlying perturbation radiated off of you the moment you found Ellie at your doorstep.

It’s not as though you were ashamed– your work paid the bills and kept your stomach full, but Ellie had felt so indifferent and intimidating upon first impression, that you immediately contemplated sending her home with full payment and a long-winded apology for the abnormalities ailing your life and thus, inconveniencing hers.

You fell into a routine then, though you slipped elsewhere, because you couldn’t recall much of what was said between you two in the window of an hour–only how it felt.

You learned Ellie had a cat back home named Daniela, and gray was her favorite color. It reminded her of rainy skies reflecting off the lake in Jackson.

Before putting the camera away, she’d draped the robe around your shoulders and gathered your hair to sit against your collarbones.

You met her in the living room, once you came to, and helped her grab her belongings, tucking two hundred dollar bills in her hand when she was halfway out the door.

“I don’t mean to be annoying, but thank you again. Is it okay if I reach out to you next time?” You expressed, holding her backpack.

You’re not.” Ellie hummed but didn’t meet your eyes as she took her bag, “And you can. I’ll give you my number when I get home to send you the pictures.”

Ellie thanked you before reminding you to lock the door.

You locked it twice, repeating her words in your head.

────୨ৎ────

Upon her return to the dorms, Ellie stepped into the shared area, exhaling at the first sight of Riley curled up on the couch with her legs tossed over Dina’s lap.

“You’re a fucking dick.” She chastised, pointing at her friend while kicking off her tattered Converse into the shoe bin.

Riley blinked in disbelief, squinting at Ellie, “What the hell did I do?”

“I met your friend today,” Ellie blurted, “I took her pictures–why didn’t you tell me?” She snapped, taking a step closer to the couch.

Dina fisted a handful of popcorn, increasing the volume of the TV. It wasn’t be the first or last time Ellie walked into a room, pissed off.

Riley sat up, furrowing her eyebrows with a clenched jaw, “Why does it matter? I mean, of all people–”

Ellie cut her off, insisting, “Because I felt stupid! A warning would’ve been nice, you know?”

“A warning?” Riley repeated, quirking an eyebrow, “You wanted a warning for her?” She deadpanned.

“Whatever–” She gritted, stomping to her bedroom door, “Give me a heads up next time. I almost made an ass out of myself. ”

The door slammed shut beneath her foot, enclosing her in the darkness of her cramped bedroom.

Ellie tossed her skateboard down, watching it roll to the wall with a light thud. She ran her palms down her face, puffing air from her cheeks before falling over on the bed.

She’d only met you today. You were likely straight. These pictures were probably meant for your boyfriend–where were her thoughts heading?

Her arm extended to smack the bedside lamp, filling the space of her nightstand. She closed her eyes in exhaustion, groaning at flooding visions of you; how pliant and perfect you’d been when she moved you into another pose, how your dimples deepened at her poor jokes.

Your frame stamped her inner eyelids with vexation, a multitude of strained curses misfiring as she hooked a finger in the collar of her flannel, tugging it from her neck.

Her shirt smelled like you.

“Fuck.”

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ hi, chapter one as promised! this is more so introductory. im in the process of editing chapter two but there's a lot of incoming smut for sure. shoutout to my mutuals who passionately indulged this concept. i did it all for you <3

please reblog or comment if you’re interested in being added to the series’ taglist!

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